Sunday, December 25, 2005

Put on Your Yarmulke...

(This was originally intended to be a "Merry Christmas" post, but because of the late hour, it'll have to be a "Happy Chanukah" one, instead.")I've always liked Christmas. It affords one the opportunity to listen to holiday music-like Adam Sandler's "It's Time for Chanukah." No, really. The holidays also provide as an opportunity to exact vengeance-I mean, show our affinity for-those whom we know, personally or not. For this occasion, I've compiled an irreverent list of what Obiter Dictum "gives" to whom and why.

To the good people of Will County: As many seats on the
Abraham Lincoln National Airport Commission as Jesse Jackson will let them have.

To the school children of Illinois: All the nourishing calories of which their schools are depriving them under the new "junk food" ban.

To Ald. Dick Mell: The name of a good family therapist.

To our dearly beloved Governor: A prescription for common sense.

To Mayor Daley, when he is talking about corruption: A mirror. Enough said.

To former governor George Ryan: The fealty of what few friends he has left.


To believers in intelligent design:A biology text book-with a side of common sense.

Happy Christmas/Chanukah/Chinese New Year/.... to all, and to all, a good night.

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